SelfTalk

This quote, which touched me, was posted in the Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital elevator today:

“I must learn to love the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.”
Theodore Isaac Rubin quotes (American Writer and psychiatrist)

To phrase this as an affirmation, it could read, "Little by little, day by day, and moment by moment as I remember, I am loving the fool in me - the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.”

I will be trying to turn the comment option back on. If any one reads this blog and has a comment, including wanting to share an affirmation, please e-mail me at Penofgold9@sbcglobal.net.

Thanks. Looking forward to hearing from you, Claudia

Seeds

One morning a week or so ago as I was waking from a dream I heard someone in the dream talking to me in this heartful nurturing way, as if I was most enjoyed. As I awoke, it occurred to me that this was me talking to myself, and all these affirmations are nurturing a kinder relationship between, well, me and me.

On this site I affirmed for a charming place to live in a place of beauty. I affirmed that I trust. We were driving back to lL.A. for the Mother's Day week-end, and I pretty much had let go of where we'd live for the next few weeks while I'd be finishing up my work in Santa Rosa. We had moved out of the apple orchard in Sebastopol, sad to leave great people and beautiful trees, with all our belongings loaded in the car. I thought we might be in The Flamingo Hotel motel when we got back. While driving I got a call from a couple from Bloomfield, offering us a place in their cute apartment upstairs from where they live. Half a block away lives a friend of my daughter's.

We are in a small farm community which, if it does have a sign with its name, has not yet been discovered by me. Here I saw an owl (looked like a big cat - on a telephone wire - it sat with me in silence), many hummingbirds - with green and red, birds with yellow on them, lots of those. I look out from above on some hummingbird feeders a couple feet from my eyes - and a number of them come feed sometimes. There are many feeders in the garden where we live and the birds love them. I did visit an apple tree in Sebastopol, because I sure missed seeing the apple's cycle of growing. It is quite pastoral here. Oh, daughter did get lightly electrified by a fence while petting a dog here, but it was a light zap. She also got chased by a skunk, and a kind neighbor shined the light on it, so they'd see what the heck it was. Yesterday went to Dillon Beach and saw lots of lambs, and huge rocks on the side of the road.

I enjoy the confidence of following my heart.
I enjoy the gift of the Creator's confidence in me, flowing through my words and acctions.

I enthusiastically welcome your affirmations in the comments section.

Please let me know if you are reading this blog! I've gotten some e-mails, and would appreciate comments in the little comment section after the text. Thanks!

Claudia

Parenting

Please share any affirmations you would like to about parenting!
Here are two for today:

I totally accept and love myself as an imperfect but loving and making efforts parent.

I forgive myself for mistakes I have made in parenting.

I Trust

Affirmation:

I enjoy the blossoms of friendship and the luscious fruits they yield into.

Frank Note*

I signed on for two more weeks at my job in Santa Rosa. I am trusting that a deeply heart-inspiring place to live will emerge for our stay here for at least 2 - 4 more weeks. This is an adventure.


I welcome you! I recently invited the folks on the Wacco board (http://www.waccobb.net/forums/index.php?gclid=CKaxm4KK6JMCFRGiiQodYRCtVQ) that helps community members know of events and make connections in Sonoma and Marin to visit this site. If you are new here, I thank you for visiting this blog and welcome you. I invite your courage in posting your affirmations under the little button that says: Comments. it is on the bottom of this post. And thanks. Claudia

I Trust

Affirmations:

I trust the universe is assisting me and surrrounding me with compassion and help

I trust my inner resources and outer resources to guide me for my next steps towards worthy goals

A Quick Note About 1/4 Inch Apples, and a Tree Half Dead and Half Full with Leaves

Went to the orchard two days ago seeing crows landing in the rows, and sad to see most of the blossoms gone. Had that just happened in two days or so? I felt like I was in mourning for all my flower friends.

When I looked closer I saw the tiniest 1/8 inch or 1/4 apples starting to grow, and out of the little pentacle that supported the flower petals. Some branches were hanging vertically with all these tiniest apples.

Across the street I ventured, having kept closer when I was new to the area. Another apple orchard. And there was a tree that had been destroyed and was rotting on one horizontal branch side, and the other side was green and full fo leaves and apples.

Frank Corner*

The "disabled" tree gave me hope that even thou there have been some trials and areas that have been...well rotten, that fruit can still thrive on a tree that's not....well, perfect.

* * *

As I walked in the first apple orchard looking at some blossoms still hanging in there among the and seeing that there were after all apples, I found myself crying and then laughing and laughing more and crying a little and telling myself jokes. No one could hear me. Or see me. I checked.

Affirmations:

I am good company.

I crack myself up.

I have a funny and good relationship with moi, myself, and I.


I have invited you and some friends I already know who are like apple blossoms - giving life to all on their path, to share some affirmations. I know sometimes they are personal. Please click the tiny comment button after my post when you are wanting to share. I look forward to trying on affirmations you share.

Playing with greetings: Have an awesome moment. Make a mindful moment. Give care.

Lush Bodies, Lush Hearts

A note about lush (large) women.

Today a lush (large) woman introduced herself to me and asked who I was. She was a nurse on a unit I'm working on as a travelers social worker.

I have a secret theory that I will tell you. It is that large women are a hidden mine of generosity and goodness. I once was invited to a luncheon honoring volunteers at my daughters school - she was then in second grade. I was surprised to see that most of them were large.

Large women enjoy the sensuality of food. Though this is all generalization... they may enjoy their laughter, enjoy their friends, and give in big ways. I am not the society's norm of the thin woman, and I'd like to take a moment to honor the large heart of a large, lush, radiant woman.

Images: A lush rug, comfy, cozy, comfortable.
A warm hug
A hearty laugh

I am open to the surprise goodness and beauty in people that don't fit societal norms of beauty - today especially honoring women larger than the U.S. societal norm.

I want to take a moment to honor men who love large women in various cultures around the world. Perhaps they have discovered what I suspect. L'Chaim to Large Women.

Frank Corner*

I suspect that in honoring and accepting my lush body that I can let go of weight I don't want.

To my body, after closing my eyes and breathing deep: I love you with all of your perfections and imperfections.

I welcome you to comment with affirmation you make up, use, that make you smile inside!

Affirmation: I trust in the process that leads my family to a location and activities that will be best for us. I am greatful for the Creator's connections for our future, and for all the good people we have met in the Santa Rosa area.

I am grateful for the gifts of the Creator within and without.

I enjoy the freedom, clarity and confidence of taking care of my happiness and heart longings.

I enjoy the freedom of taking care of my emotions, and containing, expressing, comforting and/or balancing them according to the needs of the moment.

I say yes to this life here. Even though I suffer at times with the pain of not knowing how to negotiate some communication with others or with ego stumbles or lack of confidence, I totally love and accept myself.

I say yes to apple blossoms.

Thanks for visiting here!

Journal: The first affimation is trusting when I am seeking to make all sorts of arrangements becuase I have an option to stay in the Santa Rosa area for an additional eight weeks or return to San Pedro and L.A. and need to decide by tomorrow. I trust. I trust my Spirit, my emotions, my body, my breath, this universe amongst the millions of universes, the Source of apple blossoms, and your power to create affirmations too.

I continue to trust when I stop trusting.

_____________________________

I thought one of my posts had slid through the cracks, but I by accident had posted it under Body Blessing. Here it is. (A recent one written to replace it has some similar and some different content).

Even though I woke up to a disturbing dream, and was a tad discombobulated, feeling pressure to do too much that I didn't get done, I totally accept and love myself.I totally need to give credit for this affirmation to a therapist Michelle Barone (forgive possible misspelling) who works a lot with home-schooling families who shared this style of affirmation at a conference. She learned it from a group called EFT started by Gary Craig. The basic format is: Even though__________________ (fill in the blanks)I still totally accept and love myself.This brings in the Jewish principle that the greatest spirituality is in bringing the highest consciousness to the lowest level. The Jungians also fish for the dark spots, for the deaths that then brink re-births.

Frank Corner*I love affirmations that reduce the shame level in the bank that is me.I especially accept and love myself when I make mistakes.*

*Following My Heart: Ah. I went with my daughter to buy her birthday gift for me to Beverly Crafts: calligraphy pens of gorgeous yellow-orange, teal, ocean blue, gold leaf, and a drawing pad. This morning Iwent into the bathroom - because it's the only private place for me in this house, and totally organized my Creativity Box, the box where I keep my calligraphy pens and pastels and oil pastels. I cleaned the little plastic sections, and took out pens that are mediocre or that I don't use. Then I created a border for a journal page.

Later I took a walk in the orchard, and saw a baby bee drinking in the pollen of a blossom. The blossoms reveal just where they are, and I noticed if I move closer towards them I enjoy them more. I think there is some parallel between this and the pause/the moment of reflection that lets you taste food, and go deeper in contemplation or prayer. At our house it is the fence that slowly opens when your car pulls up or out, making you pause. I look forward to you sharing your affirmation deposits and any journalling on them in the comment section. Perhaps one day I'll get more technoloically savvy or ask someone who is for another format where others'affirmations can be displayed more visibly.

Disclaimer: my notes are not designed like essays, and words will not always have the typical spellings, and there will not always be themes and then proper transitions. It is more of a flow, like walking this way and that among the apple trees taking in the branch full with blossoms, and the one with some blossoms and pink and white striped bulging buds, and then stopping at the new baby tree that has plastic wire protecting it. I often write while walking or after. Frankly, I think I identify with the buds at this point. I totally love and accept myself even though this blog is not perfect or in the perfect format as yet. I also have limited computer time now.Good night. Thanks for visiting. I am trying to keep the momentum of writing here every day despite limited time.

Welcoming Your Affirmations

What are your affirmations that help you, and/or make you laugh?

When I wrote recently here that my work was almost impossible, I realized that that was no affirmation. I started to ask the supervisor and a colleague for training and material to make me more solid inthe areas of my work that I had less knowledge in so that I can be more confident about offering an excellent job. Felt a little vulnerable doing that - but it's honest and helps me grow. I am seeing that my thoughts about my day, and my communications with my daughter are all either in the realm of affirmation - positive, or can spiral into risky territory, especially when I am tired. It takes awareness to consciously choose thoughts that are more positive. As talked about in tapes by Anthony Robbins, I'm selecting what I think about in the morning when I first wake up, such as choosing to think about my calligraphy which is a passion I feel enthusiastic about.

Today I had set an intention for an excellent day where I felt harmonious with staff. May all the staff I worked with and clients of the hospital I worked with be happy and well cared for.

I'm working on some visualizations for the next place where I plan to live as this temporary assignment in Santa Rosa has offered to extend. The current living place has people I've so enjoyed, and I am open continuing meeting wonderful people through where we live next. I'm also wide open for a cute dwelling that is beautiful, safe, and offers a good amount of privacy.

Please feel free to deposit your affirmations to this bank through your comments! Even if you see things differently than I do or have different approaches, your input is welcome!

Enthusiastic to See Your Affirmations

Mystical Judaism has a saying about the height of spirituality being bringing the highest consciousness to the lowest levels. Jungian psychology, in a similar way, invites people to embrace their dark places inside, and even to fish for them.

In this spirit, I will share with you the affirmation that Michele Barone shared at a homeschooling conference, and which she learned from Gary Craig who teaches a healing technique called EFT.

The affirmation is: Even though ___________________ (fill in the blanks) I totally love and accept myself.

Even though I didn't get to all my cases at work today, I totally love and accept myself.

Frank Note* I like affirmations that reduce and/or eliminate shame, like this one does.


As you may know:

You can say affirmations while looking at yourself in a mirror.
One way to work with them is to write the affirmation on one side of a page, and right the resistances to the affirmation on the other, then write the affirmation again, then write resistance, etc... until the resistances run out and the affirmation starts feeling right.


Looking forward to seeing your affirmations. Please feel free to make deposits in the comments section, to journal there about interest you are receiving on your affirmations, and to comment on anything you read here. And feel free to make as many withdrawals as you want.

On Apple Blossom Festival Week-end in Sebastopol

I am excited to write - fluttering like the black bird that just flew over the orchard - the sky is blue with some white subtle streaks of clous above the row of tall trees to the left. The sun is hot on my face as I write from a faded blue fold up chair facing the rows of apple trees as far as I can see straight and to my right; to the left is a yellow tractor with a great big wheel with a yellow rim, with rows backed by higher rows of trees behind it. That is my world now.

And birds high and low sounds as if everyone's eatin' breakfast or getting dressed to eat - everything is in motion and the green weeds near this brick square of porch and the leaves of the apple tees blowing.

I am in motion - I am receiving a little piece ofheaven and even a moth or buterly that just visited on the glass sliding door behind me. I am in motion in my heart remembering my feriends who are in hardship - one whose husband has cancer - I know the worries that accompanied that for me when John had cancer four and a half long years but so short now. I remember Christine whose husband Phillip recently died. (Mr. Face just rubbed my legs passing by on his path. He is an Egyptian cat who sleeps with a Goddess - an adorable being next door Cassandra. It is she who inspired the human temple word in an affirmation about enjoying taking care of my human temple. That is a big affirmation to grow into).

[I have only 30 minutes on this library in Santa Rosa to write you and find another place to live for 8 weeks. In case I forget I want to add this note from an old big-hearted friend Layla, who when she heard of this bank wrote: Affirmation Bank! What a great metaphor for the way things work. Positive thoughts/words add to our "balance", while negative thoughts diminish it].

I want to reach out to them and see how they are and say I apologize for leaving L.A. at least for now. But when I journaledseveral months ago in L.A. I found myself writing: Living here is shattering my spirit.

I slept with a phone so I could phone 911 if someone broke in. (Once a man with a gun was discovered by me on my porch on Halloween, and before I left, a travel bag with someone's possessions was dumped on my doorstep, apparently a theft). I felt stuck - disliking the prospect of driving freeway to temp jobs and seeing that the commute had perhaps a wear and tear effect on John.

My life is far from perfect on all levels. I have much paperwork a-waiting my attention - paperwork I've avoided for two years. But, yes, but during that stuck angst I got a call about a possibility of a social work travelers job that would pay for me to live and work int he Santa Rosa area. I could not believe this would come through because they could have hired through an agency in Northern California. So I was surprized one day when Lily (who I later learned has the same birthday as me) called with her up-beat high voice offering me this six week job. And - friends...I was out of cash.

I keep saying - and there may be truth in it - that I think John and the Creator set this up for me. Now I'm not sure why. Perhaps - I can't remember - it was days asking for healing and help.

Now I've been offered eight more weeks here. The job is almost impossible - it requires everything I have and pulls on my least developed "functions" - being detailed and decisive. It makes me forget about myself - my past troubles.

I am seeing how my daughter and I can create a new little (or big - anywhere between) life and that we can make new connection with heartful and spirit-turned and solid people and generous people, peiople with greyer hair and perhaps mroe time to talk and more space to touch a person casually when they meet cause there's a bigger sky here and the nurture to the heart of the views. And perhaps some more contact with the wildness of horses, cows, goats, turkey buzzards, chickens.

I have tried before to be brief (there's a neon yellow-green small plane flying overhead and it's loud). Now there's a blue one following.

I'm now under a green leaved apple tree's shade. I will just share a few notes from my walkin in the orchard this morning. They may not relate linearly.

I appreciate where my soul's longing goes to.

With Your Brush
I paint Yoru Colors
With Your Love
I am Happy
WIth Your Apple Blossoms
I am Delighted
With Your Tests of Friends
I find Caring in me
WIth Your Creativity in me
I am excited and full
It is Your _____
To Make Me All I am
To Transform Me
Into Delight in Your Gifts
And Express Your Virtues in me
All have you as their potential greatness
and gifts to others within

* * *

Up close an
apple blossom
bud is
mysterious
and
feminine and
gorgeous and
succulent

How can I
be closed and
conforming

when I am
surrounded by
thousands of
blossoms
in
thousands of stages
of
unurling
themselves
bud to
decaying

_____ expect people
to behave
in certain
ways so
we feel
secure
don't have
to stretch
to attend
be
present to
their expression
at any
moment

* * *

Follow that intimation of heart, subtle.

I followed it with a longing for nature and it is GOOD.
Now I am open to seeing where can follow other longings into their goodness

* * *


The ladder of
Mistakes
leads to
learning
and
success

Even though my confidence and order are buds
I treasure the gifts and talents that I can't wait to blossom in my life's orchards. I entrust them to the Creator and pray for Your Guidance in manifesting them.

This or soemthing even better.

Enjoying,

Claudia

A Quick Note About the Power of Affirmations Written After Work

I'm in the basement of a hospital looking forward to being home after a long day at the hospital where I work as a social worker. People inspire me here at times, such as the woman I phoned who is on oxgen, 99 years old, who over the phone called her 90 year old husband who she'd be married to for 62 years "doll-baby."

Today there was frost on the windshield. While driving from Sebastopol to Santa Rosa one affirmation that occurred to me was:

I love being happy.

Frank Corner*

I have been letting the affirmation from yesterday work on me. I say yes to this mysterious life. I remembered that affirmations are a process, where you say them and then feel any resistances to them. I decided to consider this life as including the life here on this earth and beyond in the other worlds of the Creator. I liked better: I say yes to the mystery that is life.

I love being happy - It felt so good to sit around a round table at a natural culinary arts school founder's home (the Baumans) and enjoy a Passover seder - the avocado with bee pollen salad, the company. Earlier I loved responding to a new friend's answering machine message (where she pretends to have a French accent) by singing "La Vie en Rose" with gusto on her machine. After grieving in various ways for my hubby dying, being happy is a joy.

I remember how powerful affirmations can be. Once in my life I taped all my affirmations and listened to them. One affirmation I listened to was: I am healed from all past traumas. Oh, yes. Soonafter I was drawing and a symbol of an old trauma came up in the drawing. That started a whole process of healing. I also recall that when I studied yoga with Yogi Bhajan gazillion years ago in 1970, he said if you were sick you could use the affirmation: Healthy am I, Happy am I, Holy am I. Once when I lived in San Anselmo when I was in my 20's I felt like I was dying and I said this mantra and felt better; it took me out of that illness like Oscillococcinum can take you out of a flu if you take it soon after symptoms. I wanted to mention the power of affirmations so you might consider this when and if you craft them.

I appreciate my holy soul.

I appreciate you visiting. I look forward to reading any affirmations you want to share in your comments. KP, your comment was a huge, beautiful affirmation for me. Thanks so much. Now I will drive back to Sebastopol to the apple orchard and see my daughter and hopefully hug an apple tree. I first heard about hugging a tree when I was 17 or 18 when Leo Buscaglia discussed this in his class at USC (I also got to go to his Love Class which he held weekly). He truly decided to live life on his own terms, and I couldn't believe it when I heard he had died. Leo will never die. Never.

What is my wish? Happiness for you and I.

Light Affirmations

Wait. I am lighter having lost physical and emotional weight.

Sweet waters are rolling over me giving healing where there was pain and grieving, and giving strength and restoration where there was weakness and lack of confidence.

It was drizzling this morning as I drove my car out of the wooden fence along the foggy roads of Sebastopol and I played with an affirmation: Sweet waters are drizzling on my aura and penetrating and giving healing to my being.

You are most welcome to deposit your affirmation(s) as comments and make withdrawals or loans. I am getting interested in the possibilities of affirmations that are humorous...and healing.
I looke forward to hearing from you and from people gaining ideas from others' affirmations.

I say yes to this mysterious life.

Yesterday was my birthday! My journal question for myself, and which I offer to you is:

What is your wish?

Yesterday's affirmation was:

I enjoy the creativity, clarity, and freedom of taking care of my happiness, mind, emotions and human temple.

This affirmation helped me so much focus on creating a birthday I would enjoy, and let go of expectations that the happiness of it would come from others. When several people I'd hoped would call didn't, I called a woman who I'd never talked to before who became a fun friend, and called relatives - including a five year old niece who talked to me a while about their baby cow and the horses that ran away. It was dear. By night, my hold on the affirmation grew weaker, as I did with tiredness, but still, it helped! Yay!

A quote that inspired me yesterday was:

(About the Creator) "...For granting of gifts doth not cause Thee loss, nor doth the bestowing of favours diminish Thy wealth." - Selections from the Writings of the Bab.

This is a theme for this affirmation bank, bringing a thought of universal abundance.

As a wonderful soul Betty Pecharich says, "Make a wonderful day."

With enthusiasm, Claudia